10 of the Worst Ideas for Board Games Ever

Too many pieces!

Too many pieces!

There are all sorts of bad ideas you can have for a board game. They could be boring, pointless or offensive. Here’s a list of some of the stupidest ideas for board games.

10) NBC: TV News Game

A man on a phone? FUN!

A man on a phone? FUN!

Nothing says fun like talking about the news, right? I’m sure the kids of the 1960s saw Chet Huntley on the box and the tantrums began, from coast to coast. The gameplay involves moving your token around a board and answering questions about national capitals and current events of the 1960s.

9) Learning about Manners Picnic Basket Game

The kid in the back is being loud. Bad manners!

The kid in the back is being loud. Bad manners!

You send ants away from your picnic by remembering to say “please” and “thank you.” Some things just aren’t intended to be fun.

8) Big Funeral

Yeah... it's a game.

Yeah… it’s a game.

From the actual game:

Theme: Throw Wild Funeral Parties While Still Alive
Scheme: Make Your Friends Look Cheap Send Them To Slob Hill In An Orange Crate Coffin
Dream: Accumulate $50,00 Worth of Hearses, Tombstones And Other Status Symbols

Sounds like an 80s teen sex comedy but it came out in 1968.

7) The Worst-Case Scenario Card Game: Work

Even the cover is depressing.

Even the cover is depressing.

The current player has the question and all answers read to them. They then choose which of the answers is *most* appropriate. Sample questions:

  • “How to Combat Eye Strain from Fluorescent Lights”
  • “How to Schedule an Interview”
  • “How to Survive Light Deprivation in a Windowless Office”

The correct answer to that last one is “Use a desk lamp.” Seriously. How about “How to not dwell on work problems?”

6) Post Office

Those kids are really into foot play.

Those kids are really into foot play.

A game with a post office theme, but not post office related challenges. The rules state that it must be played with girls and boys (it does not state whether homosexuals are outright forbidden from playing). Then they have to do challenges on certain spaces such as… sigh… eat a potato chip and whistle Yankee Doodle Dandy. The first one to finish wins points. What that has to do with mail is beyond me.

5) Pearly Whites: A Dental Health Game

I don't trust that dentist either, kid.

I don’t trust that dentist either, kid.

Players move their pawns along the path of the teeth in the mouth.  Players spin, move, and answer true/false trivia questions about good oral hygiene in order to win. In the first round, you have to name the teeth. In round two, you have to answer trivia about good hygiene. There is no round three because everyone is fast asleep by then.

4) Prayer Path

I like that they tried to make the crucifixion cute.

I like that they tried to make the crucifixion cute.

This is a religious game based on the Rosary. Players move along the “bead” pathway and answer questions. A correct answer moves a player’s token forward… after he or she has recited the appropriate prayer. The first contestant to complete the rosary is declared the winner. This is the kind of depressing game that kids whose parents are fundamentalist might give them. If they’re good.

3)LDS Church History Game

They may have skimped on the graphic design.

They may have skimped on the graphic design.

Game simulates a Mormon pioneers journey westward. Players pick one of 6 directions and then roll dice and must travel straight in that direction. Players try to land on event squares to gain “Testimony,” “Earthly Goods,” and Scripture cards. First player to make it to Salt Lake City with 15 Testimony Points wins! This was sold to everyone, not just Mormons.

2) Careers for Girls

BG09

They took the game Careers and really dumbed it down. The removed the “experience” cards that let you strategically decide where to go on the board. They eliminated the ability to make a custom goal. Everyone’s is the same – attain one of these careers: Super Mom, Rock Star, School Teacher, Fashion Designer and Animal Doctor. Because “veterinarian” is too hard?

1) Juden Raus! (Jews Out)

Nope. Just... nope.

Nope. Just… nope.

It’s… this is just offensive. The Nazis tried to make a board game. It wasn’t really a hit. The objective was to collect Jews and push them out of Germany. It’s hard to believe how bad humanity can be sometimes. But putting aside what a horrible time this was for millions of people – how did anyone think this would be FUN?