Star Trek Problems: The Federation’s Flagship

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The 20 Weirdest TMNT Toys

Vintage TMNT figures

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has been around since 1984. That’s 30 years of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! I love them, you probably like them if you’re reading this. But they have had some weird, weird toys. Most of them from Playmates, the original license holder for the figures in the late 80s into the 90s. Look, there’s nothing I can do to prepare you for this. Some things you just have to experience for yourself.



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Voyager Torture: Faces ( Season 1, Episode 14,)

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Voyager Torture features Vincent reviewing an episode of Star Trek Voyager that he’s seen for the first time and Chris Piers creating a drawing based on that episode based solely on Vincent’s review and never having seen the show.

This was a rough one. It starts out with one of the disgusting people from the the Vidiian Sodality (as seen in The Phage). I never thought these gross skin dudes would come back as enemies. You’d have thought that Janeway being stern with them would have been enough! Anyway, they’re back and they’re stealing people to harvest. I’m going to keep this as brief as possible, since this episode was so torturous, but it turns out Tom Paris, Torres, and an a sometimes reccurring background crew member are all prisoners of the Vidiians.

It’s not looking good for Paris and background character as they learn (from an alien of Neelix’s race) that they’re now slave labor and once in awhile the guards show up and take someone away, presumably to harvest their body parts.

Well as the teaser indicated Torres ends up strapped to a table. For plot reasons the head doctor believes her Klingon blood might unlock the key to their disease. The problem is that she’s only half Klingon. The solution? Split her into two parts!

So then we have a Torres who is human and weak and a Torres that’s full on Klingon. This leads to some stuff and we’re left with this:

1. In the only neat part of this episode the evil doctor harvests the face of the background character so he can be more appealing to Torres.

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2. Torres’s two halves are reunited. (No one saw that one coming)

3. We’re somehow left to believe that the evil dudes can split a mixed species person into two fully separate individuals, but they somehow can’t cure themselves of this disease.

4. The Voyager crew makes their escape… without doing anything for any of the other people on the planet. Yep, that’s our Voyager crew. They don’t lift a finger for all the other prisoners that are trapped in a nightmare world of slave labor and body harvesting.

What a shit show.

Least Annoying Characters:

Paris

Most Torturous Moment:

The whole damned episode.

How Accurate Was Chris:

Chris somehow made this episode look way more creepy, and much more interesting. Don’t be fooled though.

Torture Score: 5 out of 5 Neelixes

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Transformers: Victory Episode 14 Recap – “Rescue Jean!!”

Yup, that's why he's the captain.

Yup, that’s why he’s the captain.

First of all, you haven’t missed an episode recap. The last one was episode 12 but episode 13 was a clip show so that brings us here. The episode starts off with oil tankers (third episode in a row to feature them!) and some of them blow up. The captain of one of the ships states what we’ve just seen, presumably for the blind audience members. Things look grim for this fleet. Hit the jump to see what’s causing the explosions (hint: it’s not Michael Bay).



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Tron Legacy 3D: A Review

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Way back in 2010 we got Tron: Legacy, a sequel to a film that was 28 years late to it’s predacessor, Tron. As someone who really likes Tron, I was super excited. But wait you say, really like? Not loves? Well for me the original Tron is more awesome for it’s potential and it falls apart a bit in it’s execution. In 2010 we got another crack at the Tron concept and… I loved it and still do.

The Movie: I’ve gone into detail about Tron: Legacy in the past, but in this re-watching I had some more thoughts. While the film is a bit slow in the beginning, it’s necessary to set up the world of what just happened since the last film and also to get new viewers up to speed. It starts out with a bit of a recap with having Kevin Flynn (Jeff Bridges) talking to his young son Sam and the disappearing. Sam grows up to be a bit of a reckless and absentee owner of his father’s company, Encom which has become a greedy corporate entente. Blah blah blah, Sam gets sucked into the computer world. By the time we’re actually in the computer world of Tron: Legacy things get rocking.



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Digga D Dark Horse Saddle Up: 4/16/14 Releases

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BPRD

BPRD Hell on Earth #118

Story: Mike Mignola and John Arcudi
Art: James Harren

Well into Hellboy’s 20th anniversary we have BPRD doing what BPRD does. Fighting things not of this earth and destroying cities in the process. Liz Sherman fights an old Nazi Black Flame while the rest of the crew fights off an unending heard of gross things they refer to as “Crickets”. There was a homunculus style being that I was confused about, as I have missed an issue or two. This is an action packed issue. I did get to listen to Mignola on the Nerdist a bit ago, and one thing that I didn’t know is that at least the writers of all things Hellboy are keeping track of which cities are gone and which ones are still fresh for the taking.

Normally I’m not a fan of Macro war stories. The more explosions and buildings fall without any ill effects and I start to thinking about other exciting things… like when will I finally beat Tomb Raider or how last night’s episode of Game of Thrones was awesome, but this one kept me all the way through. The pacing was perfect and I don’t know if it was a switch in the artist or what, but I loved the visuals. Even with the Homunculus character I didn’t know, I felt for him because of the emotion (or lack of?) drawn on his face. This was a fantastic issue of the BPRD and I wish they all would be this good. This wouldn’t be a good issue to start up on as it’s leading up to the conclusion of this story line. But don’t worry, there will be more things that threaten to eat all the earth soon enough if you want to get on this train.



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Ten Offensive Comic Characters Created by White Dudes

There's offensive and then there's over-the-top racist

There’s offensive and then there’s over-the-top racist

Look, I don’t know if ALL of these qualify as racist. Some sure do. But I also think most of these were tone-deaf attempts at adding diversity to comics. That’s an admirable goal, but you need to do your research and learn about a culture before trying to write for them. The one unifying feature of all of these offensive characters? Laziness. Either the offensive ideas were dismissed because it wasn’t important or the writer didn’t really bother to understand the people he was writing about or… maybe they were racist. Let’s take a look at some of the ideas that not only got into comics but were PROMINENT.



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War of the Worlds Goliath 3D: A Review

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I love War of The Worlds. The book, the radio play, the 1950s movie, the TV show, comics, and even.. deep breath… the Spielberg version. That’s why War of the Worlds: Goliath peaked my interested, but my interest was even more peaked when I found out it was available in 3D. But what in the heck is War of the Worlds: Goliath? It’s an understandable question. I only heard about this film by reading 3D Blu Ray forums looking for new releases. The people there said it was pretty solid and with a price point of only 12.96 on Amazon I had to check it out.



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Digga D Dark Horse Saddle Up: Creepy X Star Wars Edition

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Just three issues this week under the gun, so there’s no excuse not to read the whole post! Unless you cant read. And in that case you don’t know what the heck I just wrote.

Creepy Comics #16

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Various Artists and writers

Over the last several months, I have really enjoyed CREEPY. The throw back nostalgia for Tales of the Crypt REALLY resonates with me. So looking at the cover for CREEPY no. 16, I was pumped… however, the image on the cover never appeared in the book. No big deal… that happens all the time with these books. This issue featured an internet site that leads to death, a relationship with a clockwork corpse, a goofy look at Lovecraft, a father son story that repeats the mistakes of the past.

These short tales of terror are one shots and need nothing further.

I couldn’t get into this issue. I mean, it was still entertaining, but it felt well worn. That being said, like a musical artist when they release an album that isn’t your favorite, you just have to go “well… the next one will be better.” There isn’t anything particularly wrong with this issue of CREEPY, but it just didn’t grab me with it’s tentacles like it normally does. I would still recommend this issue to anyone that hasn’t read CREEPY before. The art is fantastic and the tales are on key, but it was just missing something minor that didn’t put that final nail in the coffin for me.



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Top 10 Failed Ventures by Hulk Hogan

One of the least embarrassing moments in Hogan's life

One of the least embarrassing moments in Hogan’s life

You’d think being the biggest pro wrestling star of all time would be enough. Not for Hulk Hogan, though. He keeps trying to break through with something, anything else. Sometimes he wants to be a Real Actor. Or a reality star. Or a rock star. Does any of this work? No, the Hulkster keeps trying to get into business for himself and he doesn’t exactly seem choosy over what kind of a business. This is probably because he’s stupid. Hey, we can all enjoy some Hulkamania running wild on us, but none of us are dumb enough to support the following Hulk Hogan businesses.



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